Practical Response: Peer Review One

This has been the week that I have hit a hard brick wall and literally burst into tears whenever I think about COP. In hindsight this has probably been due to the pressure of being asked to submit 3,000 words today (which I didn't manage) when I was still so unclear of what I was actually aiming for within my research, and reflecting on my practice as a whole after my tutorial with Matt yesterday, (see Studio Practice page).

Having this dip in mood and productivity has increased the awareness of my flaws so far and how I need to address them. It's frustrating, but feeling as if 'I haven't done enough', or 'I'm going in the wrong direction', and just generally having doubts about the work I am doing is just in my nature, as well as an impending fear of the unknown. Although strangely, in the periods(the almighty two hours) where I have focused on practical work I have 'let go' a little more for once and just been more expressive and confident on my visual thinking and recording process. Perhaps the drawing and visual exploration is the side of my research that is flashing red and telling me to pay more attention to? (Going with my gut feeling is something that I am working on!) 

Today's peer review was difficult as I was feeling so deflated and grumpy, to the point where I just wanted to pack my bags and go home and sulk. But I stuck it out and found it really helpful, thankfully! Yay for small victories! 

Amber and Naomi gave me some really positive constructive feedback which put things into perspective and pushed me in the right direction.

 

Tomorrow I will try and discuss with Pete about what I have been thinking about this week, although I'm not sure this will be possible as I have bombarded him with emails entitled 'HELP', 'COP STRESS' etc...sorry Pete! 

It's important too that I take breaks from thinking about COP, because I know that I will end up running myself into the ground again if I sit at my desk and try to make magic happen with it. Here goes!